Ramadan 2020 & Covid-19

When Allah created the nafs, it refused to come to Allah. The nafs means the self literally, and it is translated as soul, ego, and psyche. Allah did not give up on the nafs and asked, "Who am I and who are you?", nafs answered, "I am who I am, and you are who you are. Nafs did not accept themself as a servant of Allah. As a consequence, Allah ordered 1000 years of hellfire. When the time passed, Allah asked again, "Who am I and who are you." To our surprise, nafs gave the same answer "I am who I am, and you are who you are." This time, Allah ordered 1000 years of cold hell for the nafs. When the heat did not help, the cold might help the nafs to admit the truth. After spending 1000 years in the cold, Allah asked again, and the nafs said: "I am who I am and you are who you are." This time Allah ordered not to give any food or water for 1000 years. One by one, the years passed, and Allah asked the nafs to face Allah and asked the question once again, "Who am I and who are you." Finally, the nafs answered, "You are my Lord, and I am your servant." 

When I was a child, this story was told to me to explain how fasting Muslims discipline their ego and to remember people in need. Fasting was a way to remember one's own limits and appreciated not only having food but also being physical and mentally healthy. Spending Ramadan under quarantine made me rethink this story of the nafs. As in every Ramadan in my adult life, I am fasting, praying, reading Qur'an, and donating to local food pantries. I am grateful for the food I have and for my mental and physical well being. But on a spiritual level, this Ramadan helped me realize that we have to give thanks to much more than food, physical, and mental health. This Ramadan, I realized that I took it for granted my community and my freedom.

We are fasting from being isolated from our family and friends. For the nafs, spending 1000 years in hell and cold places did not make a difference to change their standpoint; only obtaining food made them realize their limits. Yes, I liked going to the masjid, inviting people for iftar, going to my classes, and teaching my students in the classroom, but all of this was not "special." It was ordinary.

On the other hand, doing grocery shopping and moving freely in public spaces, taking my children to playgrounds, movie theaters, ice cream treats was ordinary as well. Now, when I make one step, I am scared to get sick, when I come to close with someone, I move away. I feel like danger but also dangerous, a thread, but also threatened. The land of the free does not feel free anymore.

Knowledge is a fact and only becomes a purpose with action. Nafs knew who they were, but only through hunger, it realized and accepted their purpose. Covid-19 helped me to appreciate not only food, mental and physical health, but also community. I am grateful that I got the chance to go through this experience and I hope that my knowledge becomes an action to follow the advice from the Qur’an: 

You are the best nation produced for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah. 

Qur’an 3:110

Ayse Keskin-Saglam

Adjunct Lecturer

Religious Studies